Team Hensley

Team Hensley

Wednesday, January 5, 2011

Nate's Casino Adventure

My friend Rob got married on New Year's Eve. This is the second wedding in a row that Randi and I have gone to on New Year's Eve.
It was decided that the bachelor party would be held in sunny Shreveport Louisiana, home of river boat gambling. Most of the boys (everyone but Chad) met at Rob's house to prepare for the trip. Jorge bought shirts for us to wear:
I'm the one that doesn't look like a complete idiot. Psyche! We all look like idiots.

We headed off for Louisiana. We ate at Dairy Palace (I think the Dairy Queen must live there), picked up Chad in Longview, and made it to the El Dorado Casino with plenty of time left to lose all of our money.
The El Dorado is the first casino I've even been inside of. I had no idea what I was doing. I texted my mom (a casino veteran) for advice on the craps tables. She sent me long texts that I had a hard time paying attention to because a) I had a brand new phone I didn't really know how to use, and b) I was in a casino.
I had only about $50 to try not to lose. Unfortunately (or Fortunately?) all of the craps, poker, and roulette tables required a $10 minimum. I got lucky on roulette for a spell, then really ate my lunch on the three-card poker table. I was pretty bummed out at that point. Being in a casino with no money is surprisingly boring.
Britt and I went up to the second floor which is exclusively slot machines. He lent me a dollar, which I promptly lost. The drink waitress came by with a drink I ordered. I gave her my last five dollar bill and asked for three in change. I paid Britt back for the dollar he gave me.
With my last two dollars in hand, I contemplated what to do with myself. I looked back over my mom's earlier texts. I had told her about my bad fortune, and that I was heading for the penny slots. She said, "A wise choice. Play max credits when you can."
hmmm...ok. It's worth a shot.
I put a dollar in a slot machine and bet all I could: 30 different bets (don't ask how; it's complicated) at three cents a bet, for a total of ninety cents.

Then, diamonds:
If you can't tell what you're looking at, it's a slot machine with classy rings in all but two spots. You will also notice the payout in the top right corner: $192.00

Not bad for a ninety cent bet.

After that, I was feeling pretty good about my situation. My hotel, my overpriced pork tenderloin, my Dairy Palace, and everything else was paid for, and I made $60 on top of it!

Add to that another small win much later in the night ($25 at ? o'clock) and you have the conclusion to this story: I was the only one of my crew that came out ahead.

Here is a machine you should not play, but should laugh at/about:
"Kitty Glitter"


  1. Sounds like the moral of this story is " always listen to your Mama".

  2. ...who always listened to hers (as far as casinos were concerned).

  3. Kitty Glitter. I would totally play that!